Digging out..Part 1

Simplicity Parenting.  Great book.  About how less is more.

It's giving me LOTs to think about while I dig us out of the consumerist mass I have spent the last 10 years (and most of our dollars) loading into our house, quite on top of us.

Don't get me wrong, I still love 'things', and I still want the 'BEST' things for my kids, but I am on a curatorial cleanse, and I won't stop till I've figured out the which, what, and why of it all.   And simplify.

I think THIS is why the boys Lego was driving me so insane: there's so much, there's too much of it in the house, AND they want MORE.  We have been outdoors a bunch lately, and that has helped 'cure' the monomaniacal-ness of it all, plus I've been simplifying the kids' rooms, so that's helped too...but I've been realizing, really with the help of this book that too much of a good thing is really really crippling, to creativity, to peace of mind, to living the life you intended to live with your kids.

Too much of a good thing can be suffocating.  Mega piles of Mega Blox?  Massive piles of clothing? Monstrous stacks of books, too many for our shelves? More play-kitchen foods than the play-kitchen can hold? Stacking bins filled with the overlow? Yeah, it's too much.  I'm embarrassed.  I am grateful for all we have, but I am guilty of over spending.  In my search for wonderful playthings, I have bought, traded, and created more than our little house can hold, and more than we can afford.  I have spent whole days, weeks, probably months trying to get everything 'organized' and put away, but I have to admit there is more stuff than we have space for.  And with 6 kids, space is precious.  Time spent with the kids is precious.  Not time spent sorting stuff.

I've already given loads to the Salvation Army, I'm selling on ebay, I've got listings going on craigslist, and I've decided to offer up some good free-bees here, if you're interested.

So stay tuned!  I'm going to go look for some good offerings for this site, maybe 1 per day.
Don't let my lovely clutter become clutter for YOUR home, though!  Tell me why you 'need' the free-bee and it'll go to the answer I like best.  Or to the first.  I don't know.  But let's see what I can find.

In need of a Lego Intervention: Confessions of a consumerist Mama

My boys, age 6.5 and 9.75 are Lego ADDICTS.  Nothing pleases them more than Lego, especially new Lego - they 'jones' for Lego all day long.  They take it to school hidden in pockets, they talk Lego with every friend, they have Lego playdates, Lego birthday parties, they 'build' as soon as their eyes open in the morning, and again as soon as they walk in the door from school or gymnastics, and they do not ever want to stop building.  Ever. Getting the mess cleaned up before bed is our family's biggest hassle, and inevitably leads to yelling.  Yelling at Lego addicts to put down the bricks seems about the only way to pierce through the Lego haze that clouds their brains.  It is not the bedtime routine I had hoped for, to say the least.

And it's my fault.  I am their dealer.  I got them hooked, it's my fault there are Legos underfoot all over our house, and it's my fault (ok, my husband's fault too, he has brought Lego into our house as well, and is a card carrying 'Lego Club Member' for the 'deals' at our mall's Lego store).  Many beautiful and expensive Lego sets later, there is a lot of the stuff in our house.  So I have tried to help contain the chaos with bins.  I have bought bins that stack and bins that slide, and shelves, and more bins, bins small, bins tall, and one that sorts bits all on it's own.  And boxes.  And boxes just for the instruction booklets. (As if we will be building those sets again, as if we could ever find every specialized piece at the same time.)  Plus shelves, and more shelves to display the brittle completed sets.   I have bought 'rare' pieces off eBay for them.  I have bought discontinued sets for small fortunes.  I have used Lego as bribe, reward, and punishment. It's all they want, it's alI they do. I am sick and tired of Lego.

I am tired of being mad about the Lego, that I bought, that they adore.  I'm tired of being angry that they are playing extra messily again.  I do not like to see constructions of weaponry, rolling/flying tanks with guns and swiveling turrets, no matter how original and 'cool' they are.  (Ppfew ppfew pppfffffeeeeew! go the little boys mouthing shooting noises).  Whatever happened to poor Thomas the Tank engine and those beautiful elaborately winding track mazes my boys used to build?  

I know, they are growing up, and Thomas and trains seem juvenile to them now, BUT.

If I dare post a pic of the boys' room, you would see it's not just Lego, I have also bought Playmobil and Shleich and Knex and gosh, everything and too much of it all.  All to try and engage them, interest them, 'make them happy'.  But they're not happy, not for long.  Let me add, we have so much, not because we can afford it, but because I have spent every penny I could.  An innocent lost in the woods of major marketing firms and promotional campaigns. Yup. Sure. I'd love to blame someone else - it's all their fault! Nah, I know, I did it to us. 

The sad, sorry state of the train table.

But then I had a BIG REALIZATION the other day.

Our kids' fingers are HUNGRY.  Their brains are bored.  (And the toy companies know this.)

If kids build Lego all day, it's because they want to create, to build, to MAKE something COOL and revel in the completed thing that only exists because they made it so.  And Lego has been provided to them.  It was an 'easy' and 'safe' consumerist solution for filling their obvious need.  (Safer than say, sending them out with an axe into the woods, as if we had woods around to send them out into.)

So I bought Lego.  It made them happy?  I can buy more!  And they want more?  Ok I'll buy more.  And more?  Something is unfulfilled in them, some need that is not being met because they never stop wanting MORE. 

Ah-HA!

If I understand they have an unmet need, if I understand that my sons' fingers are hungry, then I can teach them to braid, knit, crochet, weave, cut, sew, carve, paint, sculpt, mix, plant, sow, harvest, OH MY GOSH!!! All these things they have not yet or hardly ever done! The possibilities! 

Maybe the solution for a Lego addiction isn't something I can purchase online or in a store!  

Yesterday I gave DS9.75 a block of Ivory soap and a paring knife and he sat, over a wastebasket, and carved his first carving. A fish.  he made a very small fish and a very big mound of soap flakes.  He was so happy and absorbed.  

Today, he wants to do it again.  

My children need me to be more mindful.  I need me to be more mindful.  I need to intervene.  I cannot be their Lego dealer anymore, I need to be their smart, capable, mindful Mother who teaches them skills and abilities beyond snapping and unsnapping little plastic bricks together.  

I resolve to keep their fingers busy.  I resolve to stop buying Lego.

(Oh, that hurt.  Christmas is coming.  I was going to buy them some of the monster sets.  Am I addicted too to the 'quick fix' consumerism provides?  I know I am.  Oh help me.)

I resolve not to buy one more organizational 'tool' or bin, but to use what we already have and put all the Lego in the attic for a 'cold turkey' detox.  It's going to hurt, but hopefully not too bad, if I can provide enough interesting other things to do...

I'm open for ideas, people!

I feel the glimmer of a happier horizon.